Pathetic

I do hate food shopping. The basic categories of food are those which I don't like, those which I cannot afford and those I shouldn't eat.
For example sandwiches. I shouldn't eat too much carbs, they make me bloated and sick. But, a sandwich uses around 100 grams of bread which is not going to be that bad. What next, cheese? No, cannot eat cheese. Not most of them and parmesan-based sandwich is no big deal. I do have dairy binges when I stuff myself with lactase and then I drink a bottle of milk and top it with a nice bit of cheese and some ice cream. Not cheese sandwich, what then. Iceberg lettuce is outside the range of affordable veggies and so are peppers or aubergines (nice when grilled). Okay, they have broccoli. Broccoli stems are cool. Now, meat. No ham, no salami, processed meat makes me sick. And, I don't like it that much. Roastbeef is outside the affordable range. I'll get chicken, boil it and cut into nice pieces of meat. Some tofu could do, too.
I would like to have some cookies. Carbs make me sick. And I should be dieting, after all. Some frozen veggies.... I've been eating so much frozen vegetables that they make me sick anyway. Hey, they've those lovable ginger cookies. I'll take them, it's a small box and they won't kill me. Then the usual kilo of chocolate. On the way toward chocolate aisle I discover the lovable ginger cookies in sales shelf. Mildly damaged boxes. I go and return the non-damaged pack and get three instead. I seem to feel somewhat comfier when I have lots of food at home although I don't eat that much apart from my binges of food that makes me sick. But I never claimed that I'm free of issues. I get more cookies, I get chocolate, I get round-grain rice for risotto milanese, small portions only, I got saffron downtown the other day. In the spice shop where they have everything, which is located across the road from the bakery where they have rye bread. My fave café around the corner, school two blocks away, tourist hell all around.
Then some more frozen fish, I need proteins. Most of them end up in the freezer because I'm lazy to cook just for myself and end up eating the cookies (and being sick).
I know, I'm whiny. There are people who have worse limitations. There are worse things than me being sick. I even have to admit that since I cut on carbs, I feel better indeed. Just now only the unplanned and uncontrolled gulp of milk is reminding me of my bad plumbing. I just need my time to somehow adjust to the whole thing and then I'll be fine.

Or at least to the next coughing fit that would remind me that I'm not fine.

Shit.

Spring has come

On Wednesday I had some errands - like, find a notary, get a certified copy of my diploma, throw it at some people at school, take pics of the whale skeleton in the National Museum, get a copy of FAZ since it's mentioned in some historic something in my book and the editor expressed a desire to add a pic of Frankfurter Allgemeine there. It's a good paper, if nothing else, and since the kids don't know German and... and anyway, even if it could be interpreted as a subliminal message, it won't do more harm than the idiotic advert made by some advertising idiot, where the Lindt chocolate names are French yet pronounced in English. Well, I was messing around Prague.
I forgot to take my allergy meds. The Prague air is very, erm, strong, so I had my first fit of cough just after getting out from the metro. I usually carry an inhaler somewhere in my bag but just that day I forgot it at home. Meaning that after every fit of cough I had to sit and concentrate on breathing because the body somehow wouldn't want. Like, really, stupidly, inhale-exhale. Inhale-exhale. Try not make that whistling sound. It worked somehow. I hate my allergies.
Although the nights are still frosty, it's sunny and nice. On Wednesday it was even snowing (the third time during this bad excuse for winter). Yet, in general, the weather is rather springy and warm. I didn't feel like wearing my winter jacket, it gives me the trickle of sweat running down my spine which I dearly hate. I fished my sample wardrobe for something warm and I fished out one of the first sweaters I made, with pretty strange design mistakes I had hard time fixing and/or ignoring, I was much less self-confident, I suppose. It's a bulletproof wool, almost, and I've been wearing it third day in a row. And... I love it. It keeps me warm, it has lace pattern so it's well aerated (I sweat a lot), it has a nice shape (will have to start using some design elements again) and it looks good. And... it's cheap superwash wool.
Some more yarn arrived. Of which there were 20 skeins of cashmere/silk/lambswool blend which is stunning to knit (softer than butter) but brown. I tried to call it earthy, hazelnut, whatever.... but it's brown. When knitted in plain stockinette, it looks like cheap sweatpants. I wonder whether I should dare and redye it. I thought I might combine it with some Aurora and Blossom and Surabu in shades of (mostly) green; made a sample and Surabu looks pretty useless as carryalong, it makes the whole thing bulky and scratchy. I'll have to think about it. And the yarn is really brown, not bluegrey as on the pic. The colourful bits is Surabu. I noticed that it has z-twist which is way unusual... and seems to me that the stitches look more symmetrical. I tried some leaves pattern but it doesn't seem the right one. And the yarn is way too beautiful to be wasted.

Holy crap

I thought that being ill plainly sucked. I thought that this week I might be back to work.... working and such. Indeed to get the work done.
On Saturday I had quite a bit of fever, same on Sunday. Monday morning I got up, stumbled to the bathroom as usual, stared in the mirror as usual and then almost laughed my ass off. I had the funniest rash ever. All my face and hands covered in red spots. I needed to go to the doc anyway and my vague theory about allergy to some meds was confirmed. Antibiotics. Again. Every time I get antibiotics, I get allergy, at least in the last ten years. I got a calcium shot, some other meds and went to the office. People grinned at me. When I went to buy something to eat, the cashier loooked at me as if I were to be buried on the plague cemetery. Soon and deep, preferably.
On Tuesday, second layer of the crap appeared and it started to itch. I went for another calcium shot, complained, got a prescription for something against the itching, dropped at the office, people grinned again but considerably less because I was all swollen and looked rather miserable.
Just now the crap is leaving my face and hands. The other allergy pills make me sleepy but itchless, at least. The worst part of the rash is on my feet - yes, you can have rash on the soles of your feet, too. I have swollen toes and problems squeezing my feet in the shoes. But... it's going away.
I could stand another week of fever, too. I had totally no appetite and lost some four kilos.

But, the spring started. I suppose that next weekend or so I could go out hiking or something.

Feeling blue

I have some work issues which I don't want to vent here. Actually I would be only too happy to vent them here but it would be impolite. And I wouldn't use too cultivated language, I guess. I came home on Saturday night, on Sunday I bid farewell to Laura (flatmate needed again) and went shopping.
I needed some veggies (namely green peas. When I'm in bad mood, I'm in no mood to anything that has to be peeled or something and I don't really like frozen carrots) and toilet tissue. I like blue toilet tissue regardless of other factors but now, it fitted in my general feelings.
They had sales in Tesco so I grabbed some tank tops and apples and mint and chocolate bars and only at home I realized that my groceries are totally colour-coordinated. The overall effect is ruined by the red Tesco logo on the pea bags and the red Findus logo on the basil box. Even the cyclamen fits in.
And, just for the heck of it, yours truly. The pic is bleak, though. Wish the spring came and decent light for photography with it.

Used cosmetic rabbit

Today I plan to do the baking. For that, it would be really advantageous to do some cleaning.. and wake up.
Technically I am awake... but despite antibiotics and corticoids my conjunctivitis is doing far too well. The eye drops that should cure it seem to be a fertilizer for the bacteria.
And how the hell one can feel awake when having one's eyes open is (a) difficult, since one's eyelids are so swollen (b) painful.
I have to try and be tough on myself. (Maybe I should have tried a few years ago......but this has really no point.)
Off shopping. For flour and stuff.

Anyway.

Yesterday I went to the Doc. My allergy started to be a bit more annoying than I was willing to tolerate so I decided to see my GP after quite a time. I arrived just at the beginning of her office hours and realized that the damn pensioners had to be waiting overnight or what because there were at least ten of them to get their dose of chatting of their poor health. Covered by the public insurance. I waited for two hours, it took me one minute to explain what's wrong, in another minute I got my prescription for seventh generation of anti-allergy things and left so that the other pensioners could go and complaint.... The day was already wasted - my original plan was to be on train to Prague at around that time.... So I just hung around. I went home in a relaxed manner, had my nth coffee, dropped at the office to say hello to the guys (one had just had an accident with the company car, poor him), spend some time burning cds (yes, my own data) and then went in the direction of the station, shopping. Got some more yarn for my sweater (they had the last three balls, I hope it's enough) and then happily set off to Prague. I finally managed to call the internet provider to come and fix the thing... the problem is that they need the installation cds for Windows and of course I don't have them. I'll see.
I wanted to go out with Kirsi to see the ice-hockey match, she said that the Finns in the pub wouldn't probably beat me but the internet woman was late so I didn't manage.

Thursdays

I woke up. Tähti used my absence to occupy the whole of my pillow and didn't want to give in a single milimeter. Several times during the night I woke up because the thing on which my poor hear rested, gave an angry miaow and moved.
I'm all swollen. Yes, spring is romantic, kittens, flowers, sun shining, pollen floating in the air and poor me with sore eyes. I sort of managed to get to my Swedish lesson passably late but still, I wasn't in a state to do something. Not that I was too able to do something in the Swedish lessons in a more decent time, though.
And now it's the time for my 20th century seminar, poor me. I don't like the 20th century. or at least most ot it, esp. this seminar.