Monday, April 28, 2008

Pathetic

I do hate food shopping. The basic categories of food are those which I don't like, those which I cannot afford and those I shouldn't eat.
For example sandwiches. I shouldn't eat too much carbs, they make me bloated and sick. But, a sandwich uses around 100 grams of bread which is not going to be that bad. What next, cheese? No, cannot eat cheese. Not most of them and parmesan-based sandwich is no big deal. I do have dairy binges when I stuff myself with lactase and then I drink a bottle of milk and top it with a nice bit of cheese and some ice cream. Not cheese sandwich, what then. Iceberg lettuce is outside the range of affordable veggies and so are peppers or aubergines (nice when grilled). Okay, they have broccoli. Broccoli stems are cool. Now, meat. No ham, no salami, processed meat makes me sick. And, I don't like it that much. Roastbeef is outside the affordable range. I'll get chicken, boil it and cut into nice pieces of meat. Some tofu could do, too.
I would like to have some cookies. Carbs make me sick. And I should be dieting, after all. Some frozen veggies.... I've been eating so much frozen vegetables that they make me sick anyway. Hey, they've those lovable ginger cookies. I'll take them, it's a small box and they won't kill me. Then the usual kilo of chocolate. On the way toward chocolate aisle I discover the lovable ginger cookies in sales shelf. Mildly damaged boxes. I go and return the non-damaged pack and get three instead. I seem to feel somewhat comfier when I have lots of food at home although I don't eat that much apart from my binges of food that makes me sick. But I never claimed that I'm free of issues. I get more cookies, I get chocolate, I get round-grain rice for risotto milanese, small portions only, I got saffron downtown the other day. In the spice shop where they have everything, which is located across the road from the bakery where they have rye bread. My fave café around the corner, school two blocks away, tourist hell all around.
Then some more frozen fish, I need proteins. Most of them end up in the freezer because I'm lazy to cook just for myself and end up eating the cookies (and being sick).
I know, I'm whiny. There are people who have worse limitations. There are worse things than me being sick. I even have to admit that since I cut on carbs, I feel better indeed. Just now only the unplanned and uncontrolled gulp of milk is reminding me of my bad plumbing. I just need my time to somehow adjust to the whole thing and then I'll be fine.

Or at least to the next coughing fit that would remind me that I'm not fine.

Shit.

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