Sunday, July 22, 2007

I hate life

Warning: this article contains shit. For real.
I have allergies as I already mentioned a few times. This year they've been really bad. Not only that I had problems when going out because all the mad plants flowered like mad, spreading pollen all over (nothing against others having sex but this made me look like a used cosmetic rabbit). I developed sun allergy. I started to have more acne which wouldn't heal and my dermatologist told me that it's how the sun allergy develops in people who have acneic skin. Meaning that I cannot use regular sunscreen, I have to buy some special crap, there's only one product at our market and it is obviously expensive like hell because the usual filters either work and clog the pores or they do not work.
And I started having indigestions. I had already noticed that meat products do me no good, I guess it's the conservants so I thought that it might be some stuff like this, I cut on processed foods - not that I would eat too much of them but anyways.
But..... a few months of diarrhoea wear one out. The shit contains some acid or what so after two days you end up with itchy arse, your toilet magazines are read five times, classifieds included and it just sucks. Espedially when you're downtown and in an urgent need of a latrine. And soft toilet tissue, thank you.
Then I got an idea that it might be lactose intolerance. I gave it a try. Eating without parmesan is a tough thing, I tell you, but it worked.
Then I had some white chocolate and nothing happened. White chocolate is made of lots of milk. And this weekend I was at parents'. I had a bit of cheesecake. Nothing happened. Today I came back home with another fucking annoying diarrhoea because I had some pizza wit mozzarella on the top and some more cheesecake. I read the toilet mags for the sixth time, used up another roll of tissue and then set off to Tesco to get more provisions. Another pack of tissue, some veggies, a trashy mag and I remembered I saw the lactose-free milk there a few months ago, thinking that the weaklings should die out for the sake of better gene pool.
I hate it. It's not full-fat. It's not organic. It's in the hard to recycle tetrapak carton. It's imported from where the hell. It's fucking expensive. They have even no-lactose ice cream that costs five times as much as the normal one and it doesn't even come in some nice flavours. Bad enough that most of the time I need to limit myself to Granny Smith apples which tend to be the most expensive ones available. Yes, different breeds of apples contain different allergens.
Well, I'll see whether it's lactose intolerance or whether it's cow milk and derivates or whether it's just because. Now I'll go and find the diarrhoea stuff I had for the kittens and I'll pray that I don't get wool allergy. Or coffee allergy or something. And first of all I need to go to the toilet, excuse me but I warned you.