Damn cats

The kitchen has recently somehow smelled like a sandbox. I somehow guessed that it has something common with the fact that Sara lives behind the kitchen counter and the only place she uses as a sandbox is the bathroom rug. (The bathroom rug is in the bathroom, obviously. Just wanted to give you some idea about someone's hygienic habits.)
Today I was out with Juha and some other Finns and wen we came back,wemoved the kitchen counter (there was lots of whatever but no dung heap) and after I somehow cleaned the place behind and chased the poor Sara away with a broomstick, I went to inspect the cooker and discovered that the shelf for baking trays was entirely covered by cat piss and cat hair. So I cleaned it, made several disgusting remarks on the fact that the whole thing always smelled worse when i was baking and went to inspect Sara who was meantime locked in the bathroom by Juha.
By the way, Juha was making disgusted faces and things. He grew up in the countryside so he know what a real dirt is whereas I´m a city girl and I take mess as some sort of exotic entertainment.
Sara looked really pitiable. Hair sticking out, covered in dry piss... she was hiding at the bottom in the bathtub and I was just desperate. But... she let herself stroked without trying to bite my hand off and in a while she started even pressing her head against my head and then started to purr. I brought some food and then I was becoming desperate because she only wanted to cuddle. Only after some time she got the point and started feeding herself, having a hard time to purr and swallow at the same time. Meantime Tähti was yelling outside the bathroom, I was yelling at her and so was Juha, simply, Her Majesty was mistreated. I even managed to dip Sara in the washbasin (not that she liked it, she was only too weak to bite some of my extremities off) and some of the dirt went away. Then she was starting to resist and she looked so pitiably at me that I gave in and left her hygiene to herself.
We opened a bottle of muscatel ("Do you like muscatel?" "How am I supposed to know?"... he does like it....) and watched Tähti hunting. Then Sara got the point of using the sandbox (the bathroom was full of the sand thing which happens to be pure mud when wet. Mental note: buy the wooden one). Sara is now sleeping with full belly and Tähti is sulking.